|
To read current comments by other visitors, simply scroll down.
To read earlier postings,
click here
for access to archived messages (March 1999 – October 2005).
To add your own comment – about Alfie Kohn's work, any of the topics discussed on this site, or the site itself – just click on “Sign Guestbook” below. Comments will, in most cases, be viewable on the site by the following day.
To send a private message, please click
on the Contact Us link.
Thanks for visiting!
| Posted On 07-20-2008 8:39 AM |
| Your Name | : Michelle Griffin | | Email Address | : michelle@griffinspace.com | | Location | : Atlanta, GA | | How did you find our site? | : private school prinicipal |
| Comment | : My daughter is in an amazing private preschool that invokes many of Alfie Kohn's practices (HIgh Meadows school in Roswell, GA). The school goes thru 8th grade and we hope to keep her and her brother there...HOWEVER, I am now considering homeschooling for K-3 so we may maintain control of our schedule and travel as we wish (school on the road if you will). I am having trouble finding secular curriculums that mirror Kohn's philosophy - can you help? I have read "Schools Our Children Deserve" with an interest, passion and outrage I find hard to explain - THANK YOU ALFIE FOR STANDING UP AND SAYING - "HEY! WAIT A MINUTE!" Our children need more advoctes like this. We need to make this thinking mainstream!! |
| Posted On 07-19-2008 7:19 AM |
| Your Name | : Melanie Baker | | Organization | : Crestwood Elementary School | | Location | : Meridian, MS 39305 | | How did you find our site? | : a friend |
| Comment | : I am glad I am not alone. I can see that what we are doing with current testing practices is harmful to students. I will tell my fellow teachers about this site and begin talking out about oppressive testing. |
| Posted On 07-10-2008 7:37 AM |
| Your Name | : Thomas Pendergast | | Email Address | : tpende00895@viterbo.edu | | Organization | : Viterbo Servant-Leadership Program | | Location | : La Crosse | | How did you find our site? | : Google |
| Comment | : Actually, cod liver oil is good for your health. Might want to rethink that analogy. Thank you for being a true Servant-Prophetic-Leader for all learners young and old. What are your thoughts on cohort learning models for elementary and secondary education?
Regards
Thomas Pendergast |
| Posted On 07-05-2008 2:19 AM |
| Your Name | : P Woods | | Email Address | : pamelawoods@hotmail.com | | Location | : Kent, England | | How did you find our site? | : from Unconditional Parenting book |
| Comment | : Just as I've been reading Unconditional Parenting, I've noticed our 2 and a half old start to say, "Well done, Daddy." It's made me to start to wonder about how often we dish out this praise if she's already imitating it. I have to admit it does sound patronising when she says it to an adult. I will definitely start listening to myself and try some of the alternatives suggested, like simply making a statement or asking a question, rather than positive but automatic (and pointless) praise. Thanks for a thought-provoking book. |
| Posted On 06-27-2008 6:05 AM |
| Your Name | : Rivka Seeman | | Email Address | : RivkaSeeman@gmail.com | | Organization | : Nursery School Director | | Location | : NY | | How did you find our site? | : I'm a long time fan of Alfie Kohn |
| Comment | : Punished by Rewards was a huge influence on my teaching. Now I am loving reading Unconditional Parenting and am sure it will make me a better parent and educator. I have been directing a large nursery school for two years, with a very different philosophy from my own. I am now looking to start a nursery school / day care program in the tri-state area based on the ideas of unconditional parenting. I am interested in either gathering funding to create the school on my own, or in working for someone to build a school from scratch, as long as our educational philsophies are truly in alignment. Please e-mail me if you would like to discuss the possibilities.
|
| Posted On 06-20-2008 6:37 AM |
| Your Name | : Bridget Butterfield | | Location | : Burlington, VT | | How did you find our site? | : alfiekohn.org |
| Comment | : Thank you Mr. Kohn. Had I known that there was an adult who could reason like you do and was speaking on behalf of children everywhere when I was growing up in school, feeling sick of "chasing the carrot" and disillusioned by the level of happiness I thought that society had to offer me, I may have had a very different life. Now, I am working with what I have and raising a child of my own, one who is not punished or selectively praised and it always amazes me that people have such a hard time believing that I never pressure him to say "thank you" or "sorry", he just does it on his won because he has seen me do it! It's as though they are certain that my beliefs are a recipe for disaster and are incredulous that my child would be so sweet when I have no trouble seeing how treating my 2 1/2 year old with the respect I wish I had had at his age is helping to build his confidence and make him treat others with a similar level or respect and empathy. Thank you! I knew I couldn't do it the way my folks were doing it but just winging it did not feel like I had put enough thought into how my parenting will affect him in the long run- you gave me the missing piece I needed to feel confident that I was doing the right thing, and that I could do better by him. |
| Posted On 05-28-2008 6:58 PM |
| Your Name | : Paul Fernhout | | Email Address | : pdfernhout@kurtz-fernhout.com |
| Comment | : Here is a long essay I wrote inspired in part by your work:
"Post-Scarcity Princeton, or, Reading between the lines of PAW for prospective Princeton students, or, the Health Risks of Heart Disease"
http://www.pdfernhout.net/reading-between-the-lines.html
It's a sort of mix of personal memoir related to competition at Princeton and also a discussion of related issues -- especially an emerging post-scarcity society based on sharing and abundance. |
| Posted On 05-28-2008 2:49 PM |
| Your Name | : Scott Steckler | | Email Address | : ssteckler@yahoo.com | | Organization | : George Cox Elementary School | | Location | : Gretna, Louisiana | | How did you find our site? | : Googled Alfie Kohn |
| Comment | : I was helping a teacher who is about to take the National Boards come up with some educational theorists. I suggested Alfie because he is my personal favorite and I was pleased to see that his schedule was posted. So now, instead of going to a Cher or a Tina concert, I can plan to go see Alfie!! While I'm sure he does not sing as well as my two favorite artists, he can move you as much as Tina can and touch your heart as deeply as Cher. Many years ago I sat and listened to him in San Francisco at a Connect Schools conference mesmerized by his talk on testing. It was fabulous. I could have listened for hours. He is as good a speaker as Barack O'Bama! Well, almost anyway, depending on your political persuasion! Thank you, Alfie Kohn, for opening our eyes to so many truths. |
| Posted On 05-26-2008 2:18 PM |
| Your Name | : Skip Kutz | | Email Address | : skip.kutz@usask.ca | | Organization | : SUNTEP | | Location | : Saskatoon, Saskatchewan |
| Comment | : Mr. Kohn reminds us what Aboriginal Americans and Canadians have tried to teach the dominant society for years....without success....the value of co-operation, community and unconditional love. Mainstream education has attempted to remake citizens into something most are not, and almost all don't want to be. Even the so-called high achievers are being short changed by our schools' preoccupation with sorting, ranking and labelling. Let's consider the wisdom of the Elders and AK's insights before we unleash more terror on our kids. |
| Posted On 05-21-2008 10:06 PM |
| Your Name | : Becky | | Email Address | : ste03027@byui.edu | | Location | : Washington State | | How did you find our site? | : Referral from University Professor |
| Comment | : I graduated in December in Elementary Education. I am a big fan of Mr. Kohn's ideas and philosophies. After Reading Punished by Rewards I have been able to look back on my schooling and have found that my teachers never really thought that I did a good job. In fact, all that time of seeking their approval I have found they were working on auto pilot! It wasn't until one of my University Professors asked me what I thought about how I did on a certain assignment (instead of saying the regular pat on the back "good job") that I realized that there was something different. I do not want to be a traditional "stickers and sweets" teach. I want to help my students find validation in themselves and their own capabilities.
I still don't fully understand all of Mr. Kohn's philosophies but I'm trying to. I have told others but they laugh at me. While doing my student teaching, my own University Supervisor told me that I needed to continually praise my students and that children do not have the ability to be internally motivated. I respect my supervisor but I disagree. Children are very capable...they just need to be shown how to be motivated without the reward.
From a rising generation of new educators, I ask for help in understanding this philosophy for I feel that there is still so much more that I need to learn...I want to be able to implement such when I have my own classroom. |
| Posted On 05-21-2008 3:17 PM |
| Your Name | : John Roseman | | Email Address | : rosemanj@ulv.edu | | Organization | : University of La Verne | | Location | : La Verne, California | | How did you find our site? | : Google |
| Comment | : I am in higher education and would like to know how I can "judge" the degree of competency of a student on a selected objective if I don't have clear criteria in mind? The recent remark of Alfie Kohn's on course syllabi does not provide an alternative. Students have a right to know what criteria are going to be used to evaluate them, they also have a right not to be subjected to ambiguous values. Help me out here. If I want to encourage self-directed, self-responsible adult learners who are trying to develop a certain level of competency in a field, and there are certain criteria that indicate competency, how can I be a facilitator of their learning if I don't provide guidance and clarity? |
| Posted On 05-18-2008 12:18 AM |
| Your Name | : Bob Morgan | | Email Address | : info@alia.vic.edu.au | | Organization | : Alia College | | Location | : Melbourne Australia | | How did you find our site? | : Google search on 'progressive education' lead to the interview with Kitty Thuermer |
| Comment | : I was astounded to read such a well reasoned and grounded article on progressive education. It is thoroughly refreshing and uplifting to read. I wish I could say it half as well. I am reproducing it for our community.
I seem to have come to the identical position as yourself but from the practical path rather than the well reasoned explanatory path which I have never mastered.
You may have said this elsewhere but I feel that a very important matter is this:
If progressive education is better than traditional education then the average results from progressive education should be better than the average results from traditional education on most or all tests, in particular mathematics! and with less expense.
I am determined to show this and feel that I am well on the way to doing it.
If ever you are visiting Australia please let us know. |
| Posted On 05-14-2008 9:50 PM |
| Your Name | : Todd Parker | | Email Address | : fakekraid@yahoo.com | | Organization | : By any earthly standard, none | | Location | : Maryland, USA | | How did you find our site? | : "What Does It Mean to Be Well Educated?", in the credits |
| Comment | : I read one of your books in high school, The Case Against Standardized Testing, I think, though my memory is hazy. Unfortunately, at the time I was not really balanced enough in mind to appreciate it properly, and I drove my parents crazy for weeks on end with rants fueled by your arguments. Appropriately enough, education at an institution run mostly (though not intentionally, I think) on principles you champion has rendered my mind whole at last, and I find that, though divided from you by political principles and deeply held religious beliefs (on neither of which I shall elaborate), most of what you say still rings as true as it did back then. You speak with a well-supported and (what is more important) well-reasoned voice, without undue anger or bias, and what you say is almost all true, as far as my experiences have given me any insight. I only hope that if at some future time I find something important that I must tell the world, I can do it as well as you did. Thank you. |
| Posted On 05-13-2008 4:38 AM |
| Your Name | : Fr R. Mary John | | Email Address | : rmaryjohn@yahoo.co.uk | | Organization | : Neighbourhood Community Network (NCN) | | Location | : Nagercoil, India | | How did you find our site? | : Google |
| Comment | : I have just gone through the book of Mr Alfie Kohn, No Contest. The Case Against Competition. I agree fully with the author word by word. I also see the deep-seated desire of the author for a better society in which people can live peacefully and fraternally – a world in which humanistic values are at home. He has made the world to re-evaluate a methodology that has hitherto enjoyed unquestioned acceptance.
I promise that I shall try to put the ideas of the author into practice in my place, the southernmost part of Indian sub-continent. I have also sent a note to the author attempting to establish a contact with him, if it pleases him and if he could find time for that.
Thank you Mr Kohn for your great service not only to the but also to the whole world.
R.M. John |
| Posted On 05-12-2008 12:39 AM |
| Your Name | : Susan Smith | | Organization | : International Montessori School of Prague | | Location | : Czech Republic | | How did you find our site? | : looking for information, am familiar with Kohn's books |
| Comment | : The ideas presented in the website are similar to what Maria Montessori observed with children. Consequently we have very happy fulfilled children at our school.I will use the author's ideas as a reference to our parents. |
| Posted On 05-08-2008 12:50 PM |
| Your Name | : Katherine Rosen | | Email Address | : katherinearosen@gmail.com | | Location | : Santa Fe, NM | | How did you find our site? | : I think it's brilliant. |
| Comment | : |
| Posted On 05-06-2008 6:25 AM |
| Your Name | : Tammy Young | | Email Address | : giannajoy@hotmail.com | | How did you find our site? | : researching Montessori |
| Comment | : I am a mother of two young girls (ages 2 and 6) and I am also in school to become a teacher. I am considering starting training in July for Montessori certification. I came across an excerpt of Kohn's book, "Unconditional Parenting." I reserved a copy at my local library and can't wait to read it. |
| Posted On 05-01-2008 5:16 PM |
| Your Name | : Gretchen Cercone | | Email Address | : gretchencercone@yahoo.com | | Organization | : Montessori Parent Assoc. | | Location | : Buffalo, NY | | How did you find our site? | : Referred by another parent |
| Comment | : Is there anyone with experience battling NCLB regulations in a public Montessori school? If so, please get in touch with me. My e-mail address is gretchencercone@yahoo.com.
Our parent group is desperately searching for a strategy to allow our Montessori curriculum to remain intact in this climate of "accountability" and "annual yearly progress." Thanks to anyone who can help! |
| Posted On 04-20-2008 8:07 PM |
| Your Name | : Megan DiPiero | | Email Address | : floridamegan@comcast.net | | Location | : Fort Myers, FL | | How did you find our site? | : google search after reading Unconditional Parenting |
| Comment | : Loved the Unconditional Parenting DVD!
As a full-time mom, I take my day-to-day work very seriously. I welcome a thoughful challenge and appreciate the insights of Alfie Kohn and other progressive parent/child advocates. Alfie Kohn's latest book "Unconditional Parenting" has helped me reevaluate my child-rearing tactics and consider a more loving, respectful, and creative way of relating to my children. I've been putting the theories to work over the last two weeks and have noticed a positive change in my household. My two year old son shines when he offers his own suggestions for how to resolve conflicts, and I find that I am more patient and loving even when things are not going as smoothly as I would like.
The DVD version of the book made sharing Alfie's insights with my husband very easy. We had an uplifting discussion afterwards and he couldn't wait to put some of the skills to use the following morning. I especially appreciated how Alfie elaborated on the Ten Principles of Unconditional Parenting. Alfie is a very engaging speaker and did a fine job including the best points from the book.
P.S. Since I so enjoyed this DVD, I hope others will be available in the future. I would really love to hear more on the topic of "Raising Rebels." |
| Posted On 04-04-2008 9:19 PM |
| Your Name | : Lara Wechsler | | Email Address | : lwechsler@mindspring.com | | Location | : Brooklyn | | How did you find our site? | : google |
| Comment | : In the book the conditional parenting is equated with behaviorism, but I also see this unconditional parenting also a behaviorism also. That either way that both ways of thinking, the way the book presents conditional and unconditional parenting is still working off of the old Skinner type psychology. It is just that in the book Kohn feels that unconditional parenting will get better behavioral results in the long run that conditional parenting. On the one hand I really like the book and I really like it because it breaks me of some traditions I do think are a bit controlling and agree are not so important to establish this controlling behavior. But on the other hand I think not all parents can be these kind of "good" parents based on their lifestyle and personalities. I also think that children are separate individuals from the beginning and that they are smart enough to know when parents truly love them even when they get punished or rewarded or any of that stuff mentioned as conditional in the book. I was punished in all the "conditional" type ways said in the book and I always knew at every moment that my parents loved me even when I ranted and threw fits about how much I hated them. My parents may not have been perfect parents in many ways but one thing I did always know about my parents is that they always loved me and still do, but as a child as young as I can remember I knew that all people have their personality quarks in dealing with things, my parents too. I would explain that to my friends even, they would say things like boy your parents yell a lot and I would say, well they are from a certain hot kind of cultural background that is louder then others and my mom's voice sounds harsh but she really is not, etc. Now as an adult even though my parents are of mediterranean background hot tempered and all, I am not. |
| Posted On 04-02-2008 10:17 PM |
| Your Name | : A Massey | | Email Address | : alesia_massey@earthlink.net | | Location | : Oakland, California | | How did you find our site? | : Book |
| Comment | : Aron M: I think Alfie's book leads us exactly to the point you are implicating. Children who are reared with conditional love grow up to be adults who create societies that manifest those values on every level. Want to change the world? Start rearing children with unconditional love. Next step? Check out Non-violent Communication (www.cnvc.org). I couldn't help but wonder if there was cross-pollination. The NVC organization teaches the same principles that Alfie K does when it comes to communicating non-violently with children. If you appreciate Unconditional Parenting, you will also appreciate NVC (aka Compassionate Communication), which takes these principles and teaches us how to apply them to ourselves and EVERYONE. |
| Posted On 03-30-2008 5:43 AM |
| Your Name | : Tim McIntire | | Email Address | : timothy.mcintire@carneysandoe.com | | Organization | : Carney Sandoe and Associates | | Location | : Boston and San Diego | | How did you find our site? | : NAIS Independent School Magazine |
| Comment | : On the way to something else, I finally made time to read Alfie Kohn's article in Independent School magazine on Progressive Education. While I found it so well informed and accurate, it was numbing to me in the sense of responsibility. You see, I have been the head of a school that claims to be progressive, but the article so clearly speaks to all the ways my former school -- Francis Parker in San Diego -- is so much more Traditional than Progressive. The reasons for this are quite understandable and even organic, perhaps,but somehow, ttoday the vision for educating progressively has little currency and is but the occasional unintended consequence,as opposed to the outcome from an intentionally progressive program. Given the pressures that Dr. Kohn articulates and the realities of running "a business" that gives the clients -- the parents, the universities, and the government -- what they say they want, is ultimately difficult to sell or sustain progressive vision much less progressive praxis. Fortunately, that the issue is raised so clearly is helpful in our practicing education and our understanding what happens in learning and teaching. Thanks for a provocative and eminently helpful article.
|
| Posted On 03-23-2008 7:05 AM |
| Your Name | : chris r. | | Email Address | : bendyford@hotmail.com | | Location | : new york city | | How did you find our site? | : google after reading book |
| Comment | : As the mother of a special needs child I found your book to be enlightening and frustrating at times, because a lot of theory behind special needs is based in skinner and "rewarding" good behavior or even speech, in my son's case. But I did identify with the less control and unconditional parenting part, because I've always done that. The other mothers look at me as a laid back or worse, "slacker", mom, when I know what I'm doing is raising independent thinkers. I wish you would write a book or have more talks about raising special needs kids within the unconditonal parenting umbrella. thank you. |
| Posted On 03-21-2008 8:12 PM |
| Your Name | : Veronica Legion | | Email Address | : dutchess2288@yahoo.com | | Organization | : A.R.M. of NH |
| Comment | : I felt as though the topics discussed in his literature are very well suited to be applied to modern issues at hand. |
| Posted On 03-18-2008 4:23 PM |
| Your Name | : Michele Hyndman | | How did you find our site? | : google |
| Comment | : I loved Unconditional Parenting. It really changed the way I parent my daughter. It's been a while since I read it so don't remember if it refers to research done by Daniel Siegel. I think the principles are very interconnected.
Here's a link to an article:
http://www.maximumbalance.com/community/node/919 |
|
|
